IFS Therapy in Washington, DC
Jess Stern, LPC — EMDRIA-certified EMDR therapist, licensed in DC, Maryland, Virginia, and Pennsylvania.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapy model that treats the mind as made up of distinct parts — protectors that manage and control, reactive parts that step in when something gets triggered, and exiles that carry the original pain — alongside a core Self that cannot be damaged. Jess Stern, LPC provides IFS therapy by telehealth to adults in Washington DC, Maryland, Virginia, and Pennsylvania, most often alongside EMDR.
Internal Family Systems is one of the most powerful frameworks I know for understanding why you keep doing the things you do not want to do, why self-compassion feels impossible, and why parts of you seem to be at war with each other. I use IFS in my work with clients across Washington, DC and the DMV, not as a standalone treatment, but in close partnership with EMDR.
What IFS Is
IFS, or Internal Family Systems, was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s. Its core insight is simple but radical: the mind is not a single, unified thing. It is made up of parts, and each part has its own story, its own job, and its own reason for showing up the way it does. There is the perfectionist part that drives you. The critic that tears you down. The young, hurting part that holds the original pain. The protector that keeps everyone else at arm’s length. Underneath all of them is something IFS calls the Self. A core in every person that is calm, curious, compassionate, and capable of leading.
IFS therapy is not about getting rid of parts or fixing them. It is about getting to know them, understanding what they have been protecting you from, and helping them step back so you can lead from Self.
How I Use IFS in My Work
EMDR is my primary modality. I use IFS to support the EMDR process, not replace it.
Here is why that combination matters: EMDR works by reprocessing traumatic memories stored in the nervous system. But when protective parts of you are afraid of that process, they will block it. They will intellectualize, go numb, change the subject, or check out entirely. Not because you are resistant, but because those parts are doing their job and keeping you safe the only way they know how.
IFS gives us a way to work with those parts directly. Before we go into EMDR processing, I will often use IFS to check in with the system: what parts are present, what they are worried about, and whether they are willing to step back and let the work happen. When protectors feel heard and exiles feel safer, EMDR can go deeper without becoming overwhelming. The combination is especially effective for complex trauma and developmental wounds where the system has needed a lot of protection for a long time.
I have earned a Certificate of Completion in multiple IFS-centered courses, and I bring this framework into my work with most clients.
What IFS Can Help With
Clients come to me with a wide range of experiences that IFS is well-suited to address: chronic anxiety, depression, complex PTSD, perfectionism, people-pleasing, harsh inner critic, self-sabotage, and the feeling of being fragmented or not quite yourself. IFS is particularly useful for people who have done years of talk therapy, understand their patterns intellectually, and still cannot seem to shift them. That is almost always a sign that the parts holding those patterns have not been met directly yet.
What Sessions Look Like
IFS work is conversational on the surface but deeply experiential underneath. I will invite you to notice a part that is active for you, slow down, and turn toward it with curiosity. You might notice where it lives in your body, what it looks or sounds like, how old it feels. We ask it what it is afraid would happen if it stopped doing its job. We listen. Over time, parts that have been working overtime for years can finally rest, and the younger, wounded parts they have been protecting can be unburdened.
In sessions where we are doing EMDR, IFS often comes in at the beginning to help the system settle, and in the integration afterward to make sense of what shifted.
Frequently Asked Questions About IFS Therapy
What’s the difference between IFS and regular talk therapy?
Talk therapy usually works on understanding a pattern; IFS works on the relationship between the parts of you that are producing it. Instead of asking why you procrastinate, IFS gets curious about the part that procrastinates — what it is protecting you from, and what it fears would happen if it stopped. That tends to reduce the internal fight rather than adding another rule to follow.
Is IFS evidence-based?
IFS has a developing evidence base, including studies on PTSD, depression, and chronic pain. It is a younger research literature than EMDR’s, and it is fair to say the model is better established clinically than empirically. In practice it is most often paired with EMDR, which carries the stronger trauma evidence base.
Can IFS help with self-criticism?
Self-criticism is one of the things IFS addresses most directly. The inner critic is treated as a protector with a job — usually trying to get ahead of shame, rejection, or failure — rather than as a flaw to argue with. When that part feels understood instead of fought, it typically softens on its own.
Do you use IFS on its own or alongside EMDR?
Most often alongside EMDR. IFS is used to prepare for EMDR reprocessing — building enough internal cooperation and stability that the parts carrying the trauma feel safe letting it be processed. For complex trauma, that combination tends to work better than either model alone.
Do I have to believe I have “parts” for IFS to work?
No. Parts language is a way of describing something most people already recognize — the sense of being pulled in two directions at once. You do not need to adopt any particular belief about how the mind works; you only need to be willing to get curious about a reaction instead of immediately trying to fix it.